Be kind to yourself. Stop telling yourself that whatever you are struggling with “should” be easy. If something is hard for you, it is hard for you. There are probably Reasons, though those may just be how you are wired. Acknowledge these things. When you finish something hard, be proud! Celebrate a little.
And really, just stop saying “should” to yourself about your thoughts and feelings in any context. You feel how you feel. The things in your head are the things in your head. You can’t change either directly through sheer force of will. You can only change what you do. Stop beating yourself up for who and what you are right now–it isn’t productive. Focus on moving forward.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, —- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! —- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)
Took a 48-hour crash course study session for my English Language Arts Grades 8-12 practice content exam where I attempted to study 5 years worth of English and English teaching methodology in 2 days. It was not pretty. But amidst that craziness, I came across this poem again.
I was never a huge-huge-huge fan of poetry back in high school, but I guess as years go by, people’s tastes change, as mine seem to be changing. I’m starting to grow a tiny bit of appreciation for poetry. I suppose this is a good thing since I’m to be a high school English teacher.
Dedicating this poem to the manfriend :)
“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”
― Haim G. Ginott, Teacher and Child: A Book for Parents and Teachers